Category Archives: Films

The Noblest Rogue enjoys his trips to the bioscope and therefor needs to know what’s hot and what’s not


It has been awhile since a movie has held this much potential in my eyes. Most of what has been on the local circuit in recent months has been absolute trash whilst those which have been worth the time, I’ve managed to miss. Somehow I don’t think that I’ll be missing this one, despite living by the mantra that you should never judge a book movie by its cover trailer. Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson – who also directed ‘Boogie Nights’, ‘Magnolia’ and ‘There Will Be Blood’‘Inherent Vice’ tells the story of a 1970’s private eye in Los Angeles who investigates the disappearance of a former girlfriend. The cast is about as shit-hot as you’ll find in Hollywood with the likes of Joaquin Phoenix, Josh Brolin, Owen Wilson, Reese Witherspoon, Benicio Del Toro and Eric Roberts set to keep you entertained throughout. Yes, I just said Eric Roberts.

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They don’t make enough Western films anymore so when one comes around, it always catches my attention. I have an affinity to Westerns because I was raised on John Wayne and Clint Eastwood films which told stories of hard gunmen standing up for what was right in the Old West and I derive much of my sense of honour from these Spaghetti Western’s of yesteryear. They were gritty and real and the difference between right and wrong or good and evil was a clearly visible line drawn in the sands of a dusty town on the border of Mexico. ‘The Homesman’ has all the makings of an epic Western and I truly hope that it lives up to its trailer. I have, however, learnt that one should never judge a film by its trailer. The film stars Tommy Lee Jones and Hilary Swank, which is as good a place to start as any.

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I’ve aired my grievances when it comes to Hollywood remakes so I won’t rehash the same complaint again, however, I must stress that this grievance weighs heaviest on my shoulders when dealing with classic horror remakes. Nothing can compare to the horror films that came out of the 1970’s. The blood, guts and ‘special effects’ were so bad and the frights so predictable, that they took on a cult status with 1970’s horror fans and modern-day horror fans alike. Yet, despite their obvious pitfalls, these movies honestly scared the living shit out of people when they were released. What hope do filmmakers have of recreating the same fear amongst modern-day viewers? ‘The Town That Dreaded Sundown’ was a classic in 1976, will this modern-day remake live up to its predecessor?

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Starring in the successful Matrix Trilogy did wonders for the career of Keanu Reeves. Before that – barring ‘Speed’ – he was starring in average ‘dude’ type movies playing pot-smokin’ airheads, but since Neo, he has proved his ability to hand out an ass kicking in more than one film. If we’re honest, this is all we really want to see Keanu do. I’m not interested in seeing him trying to woo some chick who has a terminal illness. Nah! I wanna see him unloading clip after clip at scores of mobsters, or roundhouse kicking someone to the face as the rain pelts down. Thankfully, ‘John Wick’ looks like the type of film to offer us this sort of entertainment.

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Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper have teamed up again as newlyweds in this 1930’s era thriller about the North Carolina based Pemberton timber Empire. Having previously worked together on critically acclaimed dramas ‘Silver Linings Playbook’ and ‘American Hustle’, it seems like the two enjoy making movies together which have Academy Awards written all over them and this has me excited for ‘Serena’. The story sees Lawrence play Serena, who proves herself to be equal to any man by overseeing loggers, hunting rattle-snakes and even saving someone’s life in the wilderness. The passionate pair have power and influence in the palm of their hands, but things start to unravel when Serena discovers George’s hidden past and struggles with her own inability to conceive. Thrilling!

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Here’s a movie which has the makings of a thriller the likes of ‘Se7en’ or even ‘The Silence of The Lambs.’ ‘The Calling’ tells the story of a small town cop – Susan Sarandon – who has to deal with a string of gruesome murders in the surrounding countryside, which ultimately brings her face to face with a serial killer driven by a higher calling. What is most interesting of all is that this film is directed my South African born Jason Stone, who is – I believe – making is directing début. It has a couple other big name actors including Donald Sutherland, Topher Grace and Gil Bellows.

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You’d think that this story has run its course, right? Clearly not. You know this story. You know this haunted house. The one somewhere in New York State with the creaky floorboards, lurking ghouls and horrific past? The house which haunts the male character to the extent where he wants to off his entire family? Heard it before? You should have because it’s been done over and over and yet they still claim that each new tale is another ‘true story.’ Pfffft! Despite it having been done since ages ago, this new addition – ‘Amityville: The Awakening’ – actually gives me the creeps and is guaranteed to scare the shit out of me.

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