Kicking off your Tuesday is a compilation of close-calls. I know the feeling and I’m sure you do too. When the world around you slows down and you begin to rapidly question why it is that you are doing what you are busy doing. Seconds feel like hours and you feel powerless as you see the fast approaching doom. At times you eat it hard but on the rare occasion you get out of it unscathed and thank your lucky stars. This is that kind of compilation.
If there is anything Samuel L. Jackson knows how to do, it’s how to drop a mother*cker in the middle of a sentence. Samuel L. has used this phrase so often in his career that I wouldn’t be surprised if there a clause exists within his contacts which states that he can drop it when and where he feels like it, regardless of what the script says. This edit sits at about 3 minutes 30, with a motherf*cker being dropped by Samuel L. every second. That’s roughly 210 motherf*cker’s. Incredible.
The only thing that would make this compilation better than it already is, would be if every time someone catches one to the face, a deep voice would say “head-shot!” like in a first person shooter game. I’ve attached a clip from Unreal Tournament which should give you an idea of the effect I am looking for. Other than that, this compilation is spot on the money!
The icing on the top of the people wiping out cake is when they get the wind knocked out of them. It’s got something to do with an understanding of the pure fear swirling within the person. They’re in a flat panic and honestly feel like they are about to die. I know the feeling and so do you. It’s frightening and you feel like the earth is about to swallow you, yet seeing it happen to someone else and hearing them moaning as they fight for air is funny as shit! Period.
Without fail, this is my favourite time of every month. Not only am I feeling flush but my YouTube feed becomes flooded with a host of fail compilations. It’s not secret that I derive a huge amount of pleasure out of seeing other humans wipeout. It might sound mean, but fuckkit, that shit’s funny. Like the girl at 3:28 who ploughs head first – at full speed – into a sand dune whilst cruising down it on a sand board. In fact everyone who eats it in this compilation is worth every second. It’s all priceless.